The Cuckoo Canticle
by Tamah
Summary: A Psycho!Dawn oneshot. Set in the game-universe. Dawn likes playing games with her empoleon. She is ten, after all, it's only natural. People will get over her games, eventually.


**Tamah: This story wouldn't go away until I wrote it. I feel kind of bad, 'cause I have a request fic to write. . . But anyway. This is a Psycho!Dawn story, set in the gameverse. My friend Mantineus came up with the Psycho!Dawn concept, and not me.**

**I'd like to think that the music in any game would drive someone crazy if that was all you heard.**

* * *

My name is Dawn Hikari, and I'm insane. Do you like that? I think I should yell that to strangers who walk past me on the street. And then shake their hand. Maybe hug them, too, and poke them in the back. I like poking people, it's soooo much fun! I love how they yell at me afterward, but everyone gets over it and shuts up.

Oh, did I ever tell you how much I love sharp things? I love them thiiiiis much! I really do, honest! I love poking people, and I love sharp things. I'm really good at math, too, so I can add the both of them together for double the fun. It's really fun, you should try it. I'm such a great role model.

'But Dawn,' you may ask, 'How are you insane? You look pretty sane to me.' Well, I'll tell you why. I hear music, music music music. It's everywhere. Like right now, it's 'soothing music,' like the kind that plays in the pokémon centers. IT DRIVES ME NUTS. I HATE IT, I HATE IT SO MUCH!

Ahem. Sorry about the yelling. I like yelling. People pay attention to me that way.

Oh yeah, and I get possessed. But that's not the problem. The music is, you see. Actually, the whole 'possession' thing was what kept me relatively sane. But then again, not really.

People say that I stopped Team Galactic, and saved the world- hell, I'm sure you know that I'm famous- but eh, that wasn't me. No sirree, it was that thing that possessed me.

I think it was a woman. But that's not important.

I first felt the presence when I went to pick my first pokémon. I've always wanted a chimchar, they're soooo cute and adorable! But I picked piplup. At the time, I didn't really think about it, but later that day I knew that there was something up.

So, that's my way of saying that this presence had me on a pretty tight rein, and it was the one who kicked all the ass and saved the world. I was just like a sock puppet, all socky and cottony. I like socks. They help clean stuff up.

You know, deep down, I really liked Cyrus- the head space man. He was a very charismatic man, you know. Very handsome, too, underneath his 'I hate everything' shell. How else did you think he got those three chicks to follow him? Huh? The blue haired lady was a man? Well, colored me surprised.

I was enchanted by that space man, with his dreams and ideas, but she wasn't. My mom always told me to 'Dream big or go home.' Oh! I remember now, I know it was a lady in my head because I could hear her talk. But anyway, that lady aligned with that blonde lady and marooned him in the distortion world. That's right, her name was Cynthia. The blonde lady, I mean.

Did I mention that she even changed my name for me? I wasn't Dawn, not any more, I was Gypsy. I still sort of am, that's what everyone calls me. That's a fucking retarded name.

My empoleon is sharp. I like sharp things. Did you know an empoleon can cut through a thick-ass piece of ice? It's true, I swear. It can cut through a lot more, too. He's pretty awesome, for a stupid tuxedoed penguin-tard.

After we beat the first gym, I could really hear her thoughts, then. I know stuff that can't be un-known. Mew's under the truck, guys. I herd you leik mudkips. Soylent green is people.

She had horrible taste in pokémon, let me tell you. When we were up against the champion- who was also that blonde lady- the team was empoleon (she named him Tsunami,) a lucario named Swift, a clefable named Wish, an altaria named Joy, a blissey named Grace, and a togekiss she called Jubilee. I still gag. Such cutesy names made me want to punch a baby.

That lucario, he was special. She cherished that damn thing because some dude gave it to us. She had terrible naming skills, am I right? Of course I am.

After she became champion, the possession spells became less and less frequent, until she fucking ditched me completely. Without her blabbering, the music (which had always been there) had taken her place. It was unending torture. It was the same old songs over and over and over again, and I was beyond sick of it. I was over it.

One day, I just. . . snapped. Snapped. Snapped. That's an awesome word. Snappity snap snap. SNAP! I got angry, like really angry. Angry angry angry. I like that word, too.

I like sharp things.

Tsunami plays with people. It's fun. He likes playing with their ketchup. It's hard getting it out of my clothes. Yup. Ketchup, that's all. Gotta keep reminding me, or else. Psst, did you know I'm crazy? That's what the people in white keep telling me. White. White, why wear white? It's such a boring color.

I like dying their white coats red. I do it in my dreams. I guess that makes me a tailor.

Do you know hydrogen peroxide works wonders at getting ketchup out of your clothes? Yup. It's ketchup. It tastes different, though, I think everyone's ketchup is an off brand. Cheap bastards.

Those fucking retarded pokémon were the first to go. Those sissy fuckers, the lucario and the togekiss knew, they KNEW, dammit, cause they ran off like little crybabies. They didn't want to play with me and Tsunami. But the rest of them, we played with, and when we were done, there was ketchup everywhere.

Tsunami and I, we're BFFs. Besty-best-friends for-fucking-ever. I'd like to see a retarded infernape do what Tsunami does.

Then we found that blonde barbie doll bitch, Cynthia. We played with her too. It was fun, fun-fun-fun.

After that we danced in the rain by Pastoria. It was tons of fun. Wheeeeee! We sang songs that clashed with the music, but I didn't care. We went to the town and played with the people in the mud. We played hide-and-seek. I don't think anyone's gonna find them for a loooong while. They're really good hiders, but we found them, and we helped them hide again, because we're nice!

I'm only ten years old. Did you know? Everyone thinks I'm old. It's because the lady was way older.

Then a bunch of people dragged us to the Happy Place. That's where I am right now. The Happy Place. The nice ladies give me medicine so I can talk normal sometimes, but I don't think it works. Do you? You're the sane one, after all.

The ladies are yelling now, about how Tsunami broke out. He did? Really? He probably wants to play a game. Do you wanna play a little game? I think some dude named Puzzle said that. I dunno.

Oh, hey, there Tsunami is, like the ladies said.

Hiiiiiiii Tsunami, we're best friends forever, right? I don't think the ladies like you much, Tsunami. Oh wait, they're quiet now. But we're free, as free as a girl and her penguin-pal can be, right?

You know what, I wanna go to the distortion world now. I'm gonna rescue Cyrus, and then we can make his dream come true. Dream big or go home, right Tsunami? Yeah. We're gonna rule the world, Tsunami.

Rule the world.

I like the way that sounds.

I like sharp things.

Soon, the whole world's gonna like sharp things too.

Dream big, or go home.


End file.
